I started as a freshie at a premiere university in the country. With the innocence of a typical "probinsyana", with the looks of a cultured shock woman due to the unprecedented changes in the society I was into. I tried to surpass all the hardships that came my way during the first few weeks of my stay there, alone. I had nobody to lean on in times of difficulties. I had to depend on myself, not on anybody but I, alone.
He was the one who helped me get over with everything I was into. He brought back my sanity when I felt I almost lost it. I didn't have hesitations upon hearing his words, for I trusted him so much that I almost lost my convictions to myself. He was the one who saved me from jeers and taunts that I received when I faltered in my Speech Communication subject. He got into fisticuffs when somebody called me by a stupid name (a jerk). He was always there to support me, and to protect me, even at the point of risking his own life. We've been together and never been separated from each other. Since then, I have loved him, more than my life.
I never thought everything would end that easy. After all the trials that we have surpassed, after every problem that we have worked out together, was the bitter end we both didn't comprehend why it did happen. All I knew was that I woke up one morning that hatred reigns over my soul. Maybe because he flirted with another girl, and he got her pregnant the same night they've met. he never realized how stupid he was for deciding that he'd marry her as soon as possible to shun from certain circumstances. I never thought He'd be such an idiot Who'd do what he just did. He's a scholar, and indeed intellectual. I expected him to be so brave to face his problem, like what he has been telling me, but I was mistaken.
I didn't talk to him since then. I didn't show up , nor answered his calls. I dropped all my subjects. All I did was to willow in misery in my room, with all the CD's with forlorn songs I could find. I have learned to drink and smoke. I have loved him so much that I lost my own sanity. I even blamed Him for making my life such a mess. I no longer asked for His guidance the way I did before. I just wanted to be so alone that I even tried to end my being. I lived my life in a flight of imagination that someday, we'll be together once again, he and me.
But I had to wake up to reality, I had to accept the authentic event that has happened. He'll be marrying the girl, my very best friend since kindergarten. He'll be with the one he really didn't love, the girl who knew everything of me. the one that I trusted so much, the one who knew my greatest fear- losing my only love. I had to be with them during their wedding day.
With tears running down my cheeks I attended their big day. It's not for my best friend, who'll live with the only man I loved. Not even for him, who will always have a place in my heart. It's for me to move on, to show them what real love means and what it can do. That it could sacrifice and give up everything for the sake of someone else. It might be stupid, but its true love.
By: Eljai
Exordium Volume XI, Issue 1
October 2003
He was the one who helped me get over with everything I was into. He brought back my sanity when I felt I almost lost it. I didn't have hesitations upon hearing his words, for I trusted him so much that I almost lost my convictions to myself. He was the one who saved me from jeers and taunts that I received when I faltered in my Speech Communication subject. He got into fisticuffs when somebody called me by a stupid name (a jerk). He was always there to support me, and to protect me, even at the point of risking his own life. We've been together and never been separated from each other. Since then, I have loved him, more than my life.
I never thought everything would end that easy. After all the trials that we have surpassed, after every problem that we have worked out together, was the bitter end we both didn't comprehend why it did happen. All I knew was that I woke up one morning that hatred reigns over my soul. Maybe because he flirted with another girl, and he got her pregnant the same night they've met. he never realized how stupid he was for deciding that he'd marry her as soon as possible to shun from certain circumstances. I never thought He'd be such an idiot Who'd do what he just did. He's a scholar, and indeed intellectual. I expected him to be so brave to face his problem, like what he has been telling me, but I was mistaken.
I didn't talk to him since then. I didn't show up , nor answered his calls. I dropped all my subjects. All I did was to willow in misery in my room, with all the CD's with forlorn songs I could find. I have learned to drink and smoke. I have loved him so much that I lost my own sanity. I even blamed Him for making my life such a mess. I no longer asked for His guidance the way I did before. I just wanted to be so alone that I even tried to end my being. I lived my life in a flight of imagination that someday, we'll be together once again, he and me.
But I had to wake up to reality, I had to accept the authentic event that has happened. He'll be marrying the girl, my very best friend since kindergarten. He'll be with the one he really didn't love, the girl who knew everything of me. the one that I trusted so much, the one who knew my greatest fear- losing my only love. I had to be with them during their wedding day.
With tears running down my cheeks I attended their big day. It's not for my best friend, who'll live with the only man I loved. Not even for him, who will always have a place in my heart. It's for me to move on, to show them what real love means and what it can do. That it could sacrifice and give up everything for the sake of someone else. It might be stupid, but its true love.
By: Eljai
Exordium Volume XI, Issue 1
October 2003
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